Hello Thanks for coming to my page . I am Fattima “Sunshine” Sims. I am 29 years old and like all of us on this earth, I have a story tell.
Born and raised in New York City to a crack addicted mother and hard working father ;who were 30 years apart in age. From the time I could remember I was sexually abused (which from my memory I was 8 years old),I was also physically abused by my mother as well. I was scarred by the enemy DEATH when my father died while I was 3 1/2 years old. I was mentally abused by many who told me I was to BLACK (dark skin) to ever be beautiful to anyone;so low self esteem was my middle name for years.
Unlike many who when they are children and asked by an adult “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and the child replies ” a doctor, teacher, mechanic , lawyer or whatever or whomever the have seen to be what they felt was an inspiration or someone important , was where there replies came from.. I wanted to be a Wife and Mom. I knew my princess days were gone but my hopes and dreams were to find the true GOD of Job (my favorite bible character)and build the FAMILY I never had!! True God,1 husband , 10 children and my happily ever after.
My Happily ever after came with it’s daggers , broken mirrors, black cats (not that I believe they are bad but many believe that concept), sunrises , sunsets, the long sessions on the long couch, the long lines from oppression and recession. My life became no longer mine because I was a WARD OF THE STATE . Judgements from those who weren’t the judge.Weight issues. But I gave them the power because I was weak even though I could speak, I spoke to the wind, and the deaf ears of sin.
They say once you get a certain age in life things become clear and you began to look back and say things like ” If I would of known then what I known now I would have done XYZ differently”. You began to envy the energy of those half your age. You began to feel regret on the decisions you’ve made. You begin to realize all or most of the things you thought you dealt with as a child hadn’t been dealt with but put into one of those jack in the box , box inside your brain and now something in your life quote unquote midlife crisis time and that box has exploded and you can no longer hear yourself think in a soundproof room. Well that happened to me…
From Church to synagogue , to temple and hall. Some teachings didn’t make since and some did but their practices didn’t. I wanted to know how could a God who claim to love us soo much allow us to go through so much pain without stopping it? How could a God who has supposedly been here for eons punish a person for eons for only 85 years of badness? I wanted to know if and when will there be BETTER TIMES? I wanted to know why is there so many different religions and how should I know which one to choose? (even though I knew who ever was the God of Job , I wanted to find and serve) because I admired his loyalty and integrity to God.
Well The God of Abraham, Isaac ,and Job, 2 husbands (but only married to 1 🙂 ) , 4 children with a tubal (decided not to have any more children), one book ,extended family I didn’t think were there (but they have been there from the beginning I was just too hurt to see their love) , and 7 million plus friends later; this is Me. I have discovered we live in a wicked system and the God of this system is NOT who many say he is because he is in fact a loving kindhearted caring GOD. I learned, if you want the truth you must ;KNOCK ASK AND SEEK. Because all who are knocking -the doors will be opened, all those asking -will be answered and all those seeking- will find.
I worked in customer service for over 10 years because I am a peoples person. I then decided I wanted to stay home and home-school my children . I also wanted to make people feel happy by allowing them to learn what I believe to be truth . I decided to work from home hand-making tutus because they are soo pretty and I want every parent to allow their princess “to be the princess they have dreamed” … I then began to find out in order for me to heal and move forward from the the abuse I’ve endured I must break my silence and thus I wrote “Through the EYES of Ms.Tee’s Daughter”. I was always told I was an excellent public speaker even though I have felt like I’ve lost my gift of gab with what I have left I want to Encourage , Enlighten and Empower the communities around the world by bringing AWARENESS to different important topics such as “different types of abuse,different cancers, different health issues, different mental issues and so on.
I hope to let people know You CAN BREAK THE CYCLE OF ABUSE and there is HOPE.